A short story what I wrote

Below is a link to a short story that I wrote recently, seeing as I some spare time on my hands. Let me know what you think. Unless you don't like it, then you're not my friend anymore.

http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=59527066&blogID=249076527&MyToken=b385ba8a-6601-4ae2-82ed-b45403e218a1