Saturday, 24 February 2007

See the world and all the nutters it has to offer

Drawers assembled by my own fair hand. The DIY expertise must be passed down from father to son... ahem

Melbourne, from atop the Mausoleum

The Great Ocean Road

Three fine examples of man at its best

The Twelve Apostles (About 6 visible here)

Inappropriate use of a famous national landmark

After experiencing a couple of classic hostel weirdo's in the space of a week, I thought I'd compile a shortlist of the best so far. See, the problem with hostels is that they will let almost anyone in, even if it's just for one night before they throw them out the next day for some act of strangeness...

Hostel Weirdo's So Far:

- The American bit-part actor who insists on telling you all about his life and every film he's ever supposed to have appeared in as an extra/very minor part. Self obsessed does not do justice to this man who possesses all the social skills of a door.
- The staring Aussie guy. Only spent a night in the same room as him but the consensus among others is that when you wake up, there is a good chance he will be staring at you. (As he was at me when I woke up. Twice). Told me that his mum has taken out a restraining order against him. Apparently the worst part of this for him is that he can't get his CD player back. A couple in the hostel were lucky enough to walk in on him... let's say... being intimate with himself.
-Fat, ugly naked Scottish guy. Pretty self explanatory, plus wore a pillowcase as a nappy. Was banned from the hostel after one night and all hostels in the area were warned about him.
-Annoying cleaning lady, who took ages to clean the shower I was waiting for, just because she had some gripe with the other cleaner who happened to be waiting for a shower also. Tried to involve me in her argument: "there's just no teamwork around here these days bla bla bla". Funnily enough, I don't give a crap, I just want a shower you crazy old hag.

So, that's the best of them so far. There'll undoubtedly be more.

On the work front, I SHOULD be starting a job on Monday, having got another job but not actually given any hours by them. If this place screws me over too I will start rumours that they lure in the crack whores from the surrounding streets with promises of a fix, and then knock them out and use them in the soup.

As you can see from the photos, we took a trip to the Great Ocean Road. So named because it is a road that runs parallel to the ocean from Adelaide to Melbourne and it is great. Or at least that's what I choose to believe. Basically, we drove the equivalent of Southampton to Norwich and back, in a day, whilst all rather hungover, in authentic Melbournian Rhiannon's 4x4. Generally, whoever was feeling best at any given time was the driver. The main aim of the day was seeing the Twelve Apostles, of which there are about 7 or 8 still standing. This we did, and promptly abused the iconic landmark in our own special way. There are more photos of a similar nature but I think you get the idea from the one above.

The best clubs in Melbourne all seem to be hidden down alleyways. Having been to one or two such places already, we went to a club called the Croft institute, down a particularly dark and smelly alleyway. The chances of anyone happening upon these clubs by chance are virtually nil, even finding them when you know where they're meant to be can be a challenge.

No comments: